Tuesday, March 10, 2015

For new beginnings…

“Every new day is another chance to change your life.”

You know the moment. It happens right after you see someone do it and wish you could be good at it too. Maybe you did something terrible be it going unprepared for final examinations or breaking someone’s and now you’re terrified your world will come crashing down. That. That sickening moment will haunt you for days and nights. I am sure almost all of you might have come across such moments in life when you wish the world to come to an end.
I had many such moments and I am thankful to God and all my loved ones to have not given up on me and kept pushing me until I stepped out from the negative zone.

One such moment in my life was when I was going through a break up. In a relationship there is infinite love if you find the right person and endless hate and pain if you end up meeting the wrong people. Well everything has its pros and cons. On a good note I was elevated to have ended a horrid relationship but all those insecurities which I had locked up started falling flat on my face. Human mind is treacherous. Atleast minds of women are complex. It brings up all the possibilities like ;What if you never find anyone?’ , ‘what if all the things about MR perfect are false?’ , “what if people criticize you for your poor choice in men’, ‘what if…what if…and what if” !

We Are All a Little Broken

Regardless of what I did, even though if it was for the best of me, I would feel anxiety like a stack of red hot bowling balls surgically implanted in my stomach. (Dramatic? Yes. Regret is rarely reasonable.) I regretted the bad decisions I had made. I wished for time to tick backwards and hoped to be given one last chance to live the past again, so I could do everything right and omit all the mistakes. But time and tide wait for none. What was done was done. There was no turning back. I had these self loathing  “Good God! Oh no! What was I thinking? Why me?” moments.  For me this looked like a crazy dysfunctional relationship with insanity and the feeling that I was spiraling out of control. I was literally stuffing down my truest, most authentic self, and I felt lost and off my path. It was as if I was filled with a pain that I didn’t understand, that I realized came from the void of not living my purpose. So much for a single breakup . You might think of it as hilarious *smh*

At that stage what I needed most was determination and clarity. If it wasn’t for Peer Shaikh Zulfikhaar Ahmed Nakhshbandi I would have never been able to #LookUp at the brighter side of thing in life ever ! In other words , I needed to start anew. And hope came to me in the form of my role model ‘Zulfikhar Ahmed Nakhsbandidi’s books and speeches!’ ( Shaikh Zulfikaar Ahmed is a renowned scientist and spiritual preacher) Thanks to him I understood that until I fully accepted where I was, I couldn’t move forward. I had to get real with myself and shine a light onto all of those things that weren’t serving me. I picked up on meditation and good god it was the thing I had always needed ! I found solace in good company and more books written by Peer shaikh ZAN . I ground myself in the present and made it clear that there was no place for past in my present and I wouldn’t let my past spoil my future ! I created a vision and got honest with myself. I found a way of releasing all those fears out through my body, onto the paper, and into nothingness!

So yes at the end of the day I found my silver lining and decided to start a new life with new beginnings …I trusted my experiences. I realized I did not need to feel ashamed or regretful because of them. Also I learnt a thing that for a person to get out of something evil it is important to get support from coach or a guide , it speeds up the process and helps you to start the new life way faster than you might have guessed on !

I happened to watch the new TVC by Housing and it speaks of true optimism ! Have you watched Housing.com’s new optimism add ? I am loving it ! Must watch !

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